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Parents and Friends Have Opposite Effects on Young Lovers

Parents who try to influence their children's choice of a mate will see their attempts backfire, says a ºÙºÙÊÓƵ relationship researcher.

In a research paper recently published in the journal Social Forces, professor Diane Felmlee says social networks can support or undermine the stability of a romantic pair. These networks include best friends, good friends, parents and the parents of the partner.

When parents strongly disapprove of their child's love interest, the "Romeo and Juliet Effect" can be expected, Felmlee says. Just as the main characters reacted to their parents in the Bard's famous tragedy, college students will resist their parents by feeling even more in love with the partner the family rejects. They do it because they want to resist parental control, according to Felmlee.

Similarly, Felmlee has found, the more a respondent's own family members are thought to approve of a relationship, the higher the hazard of relationship dissolution.

By contrast, the couple's social network has the opposite effect. "A number of findings suggest that there is a good deal of truth to the notion that supportive social ties help couples to stay together, or that they protect couples from breaking up," Felmlee writes. "For instance, perceptions of approval from an individual's friends and approval from a partner's family members slow down the rate at which a relationship ends."

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Susanne Rockwell, Web and new media editor, (530) 752-2542, sgrockwell@ucdavis.edu

Diane Felmlee, Sociology, (530) 752-5430, dhfelmlee@ucdavis.edu

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